Forgiveness

POSTED BY ginntree | 04.13.15

March was an especially reflective month for me and several other people in my life. Most of my self reflection focused on some of the more difficult and emotional moments in my past. I became tired but unable to sleep well. That exhaustion morphed into emotional vulnerability, making it very easy for someone or something to irritate me. Tears threatened me while home alone in the middle of the day. And then the realization: perhaps I haven’t fully forgiven myself for my mistakes. But I thought Me and I had been through all this already, that we were square and the slate had been cleaned. I became confused and wondered, “What does forgiveness actually feel like then?”

I turned to meditation and invited my guides, angels, and Spirit to be with me, asking them for guidance. As images of my pets started flashing through my mind, Mr. Cat came to sit on my lap. At first it didn’t make sense, but it soon became clear that the message was to live more like our loyal furry familiars – in the moment, instinctually, intuitively. That coupled with acceptance and proper taking of responsibility will help lead me to forgiveness of self and others. Mr. Cat may get upset when he gets a bath, but his hostility doesn’t last very long. After a few minutes he always comes back and wants to snuggle.

Unsplash_JonasVincent copy

Jonas Vincent via Unsplash

Along with using Reiki every evening to send love and healing to my past self and those particular situations, I would repeat, “I forgive myself, I forgive [name].” My grandmother-in-law once taught me to practice forgiveness for 15 consecutive days. During those 15 days, you wish the other person all the things you wish for yourself – happiness, peace, moving on, etc.

At first it was just words, but as the days wore on it became more. About halfway through I began to notice that it’s not such a chore and that I was, indeed, happy to send my offenders well-wishes. Sometimes it was subtle, but sometimes I could feel the exact moment of release. Towards the end, my heart wasn’t as heavy and I discovered new thoughts, realizations, and faced some tough truths deep within me.

For me, 15 days wasn’t quite enough so I continue on with the practice of forgiveness. However, when I look back on those difficult scenes, I don’t cringe as much, the tears don’t well so easily, and I’m sleeping better and have more energy.

Through your own journey, here are a few key things to remember:

  1. You will be tired, worn out, and frustrated…find something you can do everyday that will rejuvenate and relax you.
  2. Making mistakes, hurting someone else – these do not inherently make you a bad person.
  3. Be gentle and kind to yourself!

Would you add anything to the list? What are your experiences with forgiveness – receiving and giving? How have you overcome emotional adversity?

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IMG_3218Courtney Ginn is a certified Reiki Practitioner in Sacramento, CA. She combines her Usui and Practical (Kundalini) Reiki training with various modalities to create personalized sessions for her human and animal clients alike.

In the Sacramento area? Click here to schedule an in-person appointment. Distance Reiki sessions are also available.



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